soooo true!!! One little walk (or long walk in your case...lol) can change everything. And everytime you do it, you are flexing that muscle and getting more comfortable till pretty soon, it's easy. Super cool advice and i love this topic...we shoudl make a section called "stories of pursuit" and flip the script as you mention that we are so trained to "be pursued my men"..it can be uncomfortable. Love this!

So beautifully written...and so relatable. The part where you said..."Meanwhile. there is a woman in my life that I would trade it all for. Even to have a non-sexual relationship. Trade. It. All." I can recall feeling the exact same when I was coming out. I am so curious how you are doing now and what your life is like.

Soooo interesting and cool.I think we think in binary terms and can't wrap our brains around the fact that there could be another way that works.

Start one! That woudl be really cool...they could have speakers and all kinds of cool stuff. Love this. Ill check out what the people suggested below.

This is amazing!! I LOVE your straight allies! When you said..."every 11:11" wish...I did that too! Wished so much some woman would come along and pull me out and make it easier. Anyway, brave and amazing and cool and funny and a million other things. Bravo.

"I hope I can find a woman who loves me as much as he did"...really relate to that. This is so beautifully written. Thanks for taking the time and for being vulnerable...definitely helps others do the same. And once you start to say it out loud, it loses power of you...which is always a step in the right direction. Hows community building? Hows this chapter going? Would love to hear more...and excited to see where you land as I know it's going to be magic.

Soooo much in this that resonates! The complete upheaval (havoc, depression, all of it) and then to emerge with a great relationship with your ex, moving toward healing and ready to build community. Seems so many of you in Colorado! Find each other and get together!!It will change everything...truly. Relationships in the early stages came and went for Melisa and I, but our group friends are solid. Rooting for you and your journey from Atlanta!!!

Terrie, thank you for sharing this! We get so many emails from women in 50s/60s and even early 70s. Brilliant to take time for yourself. I’m sorry the relationship ended. Community is so important and to focus on that will help you learn more about yourself and what/why you want. I’ve had to ask myself the same..many times. You are already doing and taking the right steps. This forum built just for people like you (and me) and Melisa and so many others. It’ll get easier.

I love this so much Heather. For sure relatable…different fears, different days and then hope and excitement mixed in. Love that you shared this.

This looks like such a great read!!! Thanks for sharing! Going to mention on the pod.

Excited to read this! Thx for rec!!

Hi! When Melisa and I were in our therapy group...this came up all the time. How do you meet community and find support without a group? We were so grateful for that open space to say anything or just listen to others and feel a "sameness". The truth is...women going through this are everywhere. I remember thinking it was so uncommon, but as I got further along, I kept finding more and more. Im sure Atlanta is different than a small town though. Best advice would be...if you are out...to find one other and create your own little community and let it grow from there. We have friends in small towns that found groups in cities nearby? And also women that posted their city on "the map" on Insta (lesbian chronicles) and found some people. I feel like you just need one! I had Melisa :) and we built it from there. But def been where you are and it's scary...just need one and so much easier. Join the group for your state on here too! It starts to grow exponentially...I promise.

Thank you for the sweet words! We are so glad you found us and glad you are on the other side and happy. So much trauma along the way...relieved you were able to stay open to love as clearly it was worth it! And a farm??? Dream!